Going Home

It's been a very long time, not only in years but also, and especially, in terms of my life. When I left, I was a angry young man, covering his pain with false bravado and bon homme. That was fifty years ago this September. I was very happy to be done with my home, my childhood, and be starting an adventure. I'd just turned eighteen when I came to the Big Apple to study acting. I was in way over my head. The only thing I was any good at was the cast parties. Other than that I had no business being in show business. Maybe I could write a song...



The last time I saw my mother was in the Spring of 2005. My life was in turmoil I had a few days vacation, a car and a dog that seemed like he might be fun to bring along. I was probably there three days and most of it was driving her from the assisted-living center to lunch, some low level shopping - how much does a ninety something need anyway? Looking back, even though I didn't particularly wish to be there, it was not only the last time I would see her alive, but a break from a life that was in the process of turning upside down.

Ten years and a few months later I'm about to go back. I'm going back because I left a lot of pain behind me a long time ago. In these last fifty years my life has been full of adventure, sometimes more than I would have wished. But it's only been recently, while researching a book about my father, that I discovered how adventure had been part of my blood from the day I was born.

So I'm off to visit my past, make friends with the present, and prepare myself for what, I'm sure, will be an adventurous future.

Tarrytown, NY - 7/20/15

Back From the Dead

Well, hello again.

It's been two years, give or take a few weeks, since I last blogged here. Since then I've self-published a book, the cover of which appears above. I've started, and then dropped, another blog because I couldn't think of anything to say that would sound like I was punching something. Now that name has been co-opted by another blogger who seems to be making much better use of it.

So I'm back to this, my first excursion into the world of blogs, and I hope to continue, maybe once a month, just to bring my public self up to date for folks who don't follow me on Facebook. If anyone has a subject they'd like to explore, let me know. I could use a few guest bloggers.

Either the beginning of a whole new world or...

Let me be clear: I am NOT a scientist! I barely passed chemistry in high school and I have no idea how I passed biology in college. I think my teachers felt sorry for me. So this next post either means I'm gaining insight into a whole new world or else I've just got too much time on my hands, but here goes.

There are these amazing machines called super colliders. They're basically particle accelerators that spin atoms at superfast speeds and them crash them into each other to see what happens. Kinda like NASCAR fans on Sunday afternoons except this is science. One of them, named Large Hadon Collider, has been functioning since 2009.

But before this there was a much bigger project called the Superconducting Super Collider, also known as Desertron. The project was first proposed in 1983 and after years of planning the actual construction began in 1991 near a little town called Waxahachi, Texas. It's planned circumference was to be 87.1 kilometers (54.1 miles in Americanese).

Two years later, in October 1993, the United States Congress pulled the plug. There had been some heated debate during the planning regarding the total projected cost of $4.4 billion, but in 1993 a report put the final cost at about $12 billion and everyone got freaked out. When construction ended, only 23.5 km (14.6 miles) of tunnel had been drilled. The project's director Dr. Roy Schwitters, a professor of physics at the University of Texas in Austin who had formerly taught at both Harvard and Stanford, called it "the revenge of the C students."

Now jump to last week when physicists from that same University of Texas in Austin announced that they had built a tabletop particle accelerator. Mike Downer, a professor in the College of Natural Sciences, was quoted as saying, "Until now that degree of energy and focus required a conventional accelerator that stretches more than the length of two football fields. It's a downsizing of a factor of approximately 10,000."

So what does all this mean to a meathead like me? I have no idea except that it sounds like the researchers will one day - maybe sooner than later - be able to do more with less and the human race will find new ways to either live in harmony with nature or destroy the planet. Stay tuned.

I'm getting old!

(Photo by Faye Murman)

Kris Kristofferson is 76 years old. That fact needs to be kept in mind when watching him these days as he tours to promote his latest album "Feeling Mortal." In last night's performance at the Tarrytown Music Hall he fell victim to this cold wet weather we've been having and croaked through one song after another for two hours. Maybe I'm being hard on the man. The fact that he lasted over two hours and sounded stronger at the end is a testament to the strength of his performance. I can't think of too many performers who would have even gone on with a frog in their throat. But Kristofferson knows his adoring fans and when after about twenty minutes he apologized for his voice, adding, "You know what I sound like," he got a rousing ovation.

At one point he was joined by one of his daughters whose name I didn't catch. I came into the theatre earlier in the evening while he was still running through a sound check and when she came out with her banjo and they did a number I was thinking she must be his granddaughter, but his daughter? Really? I'm speechless.

At the end of the evening the crowd was on its feet bringing him out for an encore. I thought that was a bit cruel considering the difficulty he'd had throughout the evening, but when he came back out he seemed re-energized by their enthusiasm and after his final number he came to the edge of the stage, working his way from one side to the other shaking hands with a bunch of 60-somethings that acted like they were still kids going to their first concert.

Welsh poet Dylan Thomas wrote, "Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Kristofferson has lived an amazing life with numerous albums and movie appearances. He's won award after award. You might think at 76 he'd lay back and take it easy but last night he showed no signs of giving up. Maybe it's the applause and adoration that drives him. Whatever it is, he's singlehandedly pushing back the border of old age. God bless and more power to him.

How do they do it?

Every morning I go through my email and find newsletters from this person or that organization with something to say. So this is my blog and I'm writing about the fact that in fact I don't have something to say. Most days I can go through the hours and not say a single word.

There's tips on how to do this, seven steps (notice it's always an odd number) to doing that. Folks there's a lot of people working their butts off to fill you up with a lot of information you don't even want in the first place.

I promise I won't do that. In fact I may not do anything at all. Refreshing, isn't it.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!

I've been gone most of a year. Too long. Time to catch up and stuff these pages with my blather camouflaged as intelligent discourse. Therefore I promise to add a post at least once a week, even thought I may have nothing to say. Hang on there folks, we're in for a bumpy ride!

Rainy Evening - Back Yard

Haven't been on this blog in ages - almost six months. But this evening as the gray air fades into dark I took this photo out the back window of my apartment. The air is thick and humid but cool and fresh. The light is indescribable. That's one of the things this place is for, capture a moment and pass it along to the world.